Pseudo Review: Rogue

Synopsis: Giant F’n Crocodile

I’m a sucker for nature gone amok horror flicks, especially from the 70’s. JAWS is still the best of the beast, but I also dig some of Bruce the Shark’s low budget cousins (in some case inbred cousins) like Grizzly, Alligator, and Day of the Animals. Heck, give me a cheesy killer bug flick like The Swarm or Kingdom of the Spiders and I’m satisfied. This brings us to Rogue, a giant crocodile movie that promises old school monster lovin’ goodness! Does it reach JAWS heights, or Python lows? Read on!

Rogue was directed by Aussie filmmaker Greg Mclean. I really dug Mclean’s Leatherface meets Crocodile Dundee slasher flick Wolf Creek, so I was stoked to see what he’d do with a giant crocodile. Dimension essentially dumped the flick on to DVD after a very, very limited theatrical release. Dimension’s bizarre releasing methods are rarely an indication of quality (Cursed was released theatrically, Diary of the Dead was not, go figure) so that didn’t deter me the lease bit.

Ultimately, Rogue doesn’t surpass “not bad” status, which is disappointing since I was expecting much better. The DVD is billed as “unrated” but I’m not sure it warrants much more than PG-13. It’s a fairly bloodless affair since most of the croc feeding happens off camera. I admit the giant Crocodile, which is brought to life using a mix of CGI and practical effects, is a pretty impressive sight. I just wish we’d gotten to see it’s substantial teeth put to more chomping.

With a lack of blood and guts, the film really needed some characters that you’re going to care about to create any suspense. Unfortunately, it lacks in that department as well. Each of the buffet-to-be humans are given some paper thin back-story (loving family, cancer survivor, mourning widower, etc…) but you can tell pretty early on who’s going to survive based on camera time and looks. The movie could have set itself a part by not going the conventional route and really making you unsure of who’s going to make it. Sadly, by the end, you won’t care all that much. In fact, there are a few annoying folks you’ll want to throw salt on just to make them more appetizing to the Croc.

Maybe I’m being too harsh on this flick based on my expectations. I wanted a really good killer animal flick. Instead I got something that would be an above average (actually, way above average) Sci Fi Channel movie. That’s about as much faint praise as I can give it. Not as terrible as Crocodile II, but not as fun or cheesy as Alligator either. It’s just one of those movies that if you’re asked about it, you shrug your shoulders and say “It was alright.” Kind of like going out on a date with a really hot chick and then going back to her place only to end up dry humping; better than nothing, but not near as good as you’d hoped.