Return To Sleepaway Camp

I’m less than 15 minutes in to Return To Sleepaway Camp and all I can say is…WTF

This is inept filmmaking at its, um, ineptest. Even something as simple as a scene transitiuon is handled with all the skill of Ryan Seacrest trying to act Hetero. And the acting, oh Lord in Heaven the acting. The performances are, to be kind, rather broad. The mainly teenaged cast tries hard, but even the hardest working one-legged runner ‘aint gonna win a race.   

I’m not exactly sure which characters I’m supposed to be rooting for. I’ve seen more likeable casts in snuff films. I mean, the “hero” seems to be a dimwitted bully that, when not being picked on, picks on the kids that are even bigger losers than he is. His catch phrase also happens to be ”Your ass stinks” which makes me cringe so hard I break a tooth every time he says it.     

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say the remaining 75 minutes don’t get a whole heck of a lot better.  The original Sleepaway Camp was no cinematic act of God either, but at least that has the benefit of 80′s horror nostalgia. 

Update 1: I have to admit, the first kill was a pretty a mean-spirited death by deep fryer.

Update 2: Okay, 30 minutes in and we’ve had another decent murder. This flick is much closer in tone to the original Sleepaway Camp then the intentionally cheesy and spoofesque Parts 2 AND 3. Not surprising since original director Robert Hiltzik is back behind the camera and brings with him much of the cast from the first film. It actually claims to be the only “real” sequel. 

Update 3: Okay, were an hour in and we are one gratuitous nude scene away from this thing being considered watchable… terrible but watchable.