Pseudo Review: Inglorious Bastards

Is there a cooler title in Action Film History than Inglorious Bastards? It’s got to be Top 5 at least!

Quentin Tarantino’s favorite war movie no one’s ever heard of has been getting a lot of attention lately. This is mainly due to the fact that Tarantino himself is set to direct his own version of Inglorious Bastards (not quite a remake but they will share the same film title) that has re-ignited (created?) interest in the 1978 WWII epic. Does it deserve its new found cult film status? Read on Soldier, read on.

There’s no denying that the Italian made Bastards was somewhat ”inspired” by The Dirty Dozen. Of course, as the tag line reminds us, whatever the Dirty Dozen did they do it dirtier (that’s some badass alliteration)! The plot revolves around a group of American Soldiers being sent off to a Military Prison for a variety of misdeeds (including murder). After their convoy is attacked, they escape and try to make a run for the Swedish border. Along the way they kill a few Nazis, evade capture from German and US forces, and make exaggerated facial expressions. After a series of mishaps (including a fatal exchange of not so friendly fire) our anti-heroes find themselves volunteering for a deadly suicide mission to destroy a Nazi Super Weapon (sort of like a German Death Star).

Inglorious Bastards was everything I’d hoped it to be; a fun bit of Warploitation with lots of tough guys doing tough guys things! The Bastards are lead by B-Movie legends Fred Williamson and Bo Svenson. The characters aren’t exactly deep (it’s collection of war movie stereotypes), but you spend enough time with them that you do care a little when the bullets start to fly.

Not really an exploitation picture, Inglorious Bastards does have enough gun play and explosions to keep any action flick fan happy. Plus, Director Enzo G. Castellari manages to squeeze in a scene of hot Nazi babes skinny dipping.

Hey, if you want an accurate portrayal of the horrors of war and an exploration of the themes of man and conflict, (i.e. sans naked chicks) you aint gonna find it here Sissy! If you want a fun Men on a Mission adventure movie with Nazi ass getting kicked all over the place and lots of KABOOMS, well Sir, Inglorious Bastards is your flick!

FYI: When they get around to making a Captain America movie, they should build a time machine and kidnap 1970’s Bo Svenson. He’d be perfect to play Cap.