I plan on picking up a coupLe of DVD’s this week. First off is Rambo. I just posted a review the other day of this ultra violent action flick here http://pacinofan.wordpress.com/2008/05/24/pseudo-review-rambo/
I also plan on getting the new Dario Argento box set. It includes Do You Like Hitchcock, Phenomena, Tenebre, Card Player, and Trauma. The packaging is nice as well as it’s in a steel case.
What do you do if your town is being terrorized by a killer car from hell? You hope and pray that James Brolin is on your Sheriff’s Department, that’s what you do!
The Car is an enjoyable 70’s horror flick with a great B-movie cast lead by Brolin. At times it’s overly melodramatic (every character seems to have a tragic back story), but I think that adds to its charm. There’s also a real sense that the Car can strike and kill at anytime. The filmmakers make it clear that no character is safe and you never know who might end up as road kill.
With no nudity and minimal gore, The Car play like a TV movie. That’s not such a bad thing because there were some pretty great films made for the small screen in the 70’s, such as Stephen Spielberg’s similarly themed Duel. All in all, if you’re a fan of drive-in cinema or vehicular homicide, you’ll enjoy The Car.
What if Barbara, Ben, and the rest of the gang from Night of the Living Dead had had a digital camera and internet access at the old farmhouse? That’s the basic premise of George Romero’s newest Zombie opus, Diary of the Dead.This “sort of” of prequel to Romero’s Dead series takes place during the first night of the Zombie outbreak, yet the events that unfold clearly take place during present day. A Student film crew is shooting a horror film when news breaks of “the recently deceased rising from the dead.” Creed, one of the film students, decides these events must be documented for the sake of history and takes it upon himself to film the ensuing carnage. The movie is presented as if it were an actual documentary (shockumentary?) from the footage recorded that fateful night.
In some ways, Diary critiques our “Gotcha” culture that has manifested in this new digital age. Every 12 year old with a digital camera has the means to record someone engaged in all type of embarrassing activity. Look at the ridiculous amount of time the so called “legitimate” news agencies spend on Britney Spears whenever she’s caught in the act of some sort of social faux pas. Does everything need to be news? Do we need footage of every car wreck, tragedy and scandal? At times, Creed is more concerned w/ taping Zombie attacks than actually helping the victims. This doesn’t always show him in a positive light. Of course, if there really were a Zombie outbreak, we’d all want to see this footage regardless of the murky morality that lead to its recording.
On the other hand, Romero is also saying that since “legitimate” news agencies are more concerned with ”Spin” and regurgitating whatever message the government wants us to hear, the only way to get the truth is to tape it ourselves and show it to the world. Everything we see on the news has been filtered in some way, be it for ratings or a political slant. You want the real truth? Go to You Tube or some Blog. Just don’t trust CNN and Fox News.
We’ve seen the “actual footage” gimmick used before in Horror, from Cannibal Holocaust to Cloverfield. Where those films used the technique more as a gimmick and to add a certain amount of realism, Diary uses it to actually make a statement about what we watch, what we need to know, and what to believe.
Amidst all this social commentary, we of course have some hot zombie action. Keep in mind, this film takes place at the initial stages of the Zombie outbreak. Compared to Romero’s other Dead films, Diary seems down right subdued. Don’t worry, there are still gore gags and copious amounts of the red stuff, but those expecting the blood bath of previous Zombie films may be disappointed.
The film seems to have divided Horror fans. It’s not perfect by any means but I definitely appreciate what Romero attempts to do. It was a bold decision to deviate from a tried and true formula and do some experimenting.
Diary is certainly a worthy addition to the Dead series. I know the Zombie sub genre has become watered down in recent years, but as long George Romero is still able to get behind the camera, The Living Dead will continue entertain.
So here we have a Horror film about Satanic cults, vampires, and incest. It’s Directed by a guy that specialized in 70’s sexploitation. Those are all the ingredients for a classic, but instead the Count was left wanting more.
The movie begins promisingly enough with the gruesome suicide of a young woman. Turns out she was working on a book about the the local Satanic cult and got a little too involved. Her death is only temporary as she soon rises from the grave as a vampire. She begins slaughtering friends and family using a set of fangs big enough fron Bruce the Shark. Her brother soon arrives on the scene to investigate the goings on, but the cult has plans for him too. He and sister are to marry (ewwww) and produce the spawn of Satan.
The problem with the movie is that with such a sleazy premise, and a director known for sexploitation, I expected some boobs. Lots of ‘em. At least 8. Instead I got zero! There is a sex scene, but its pretty tame and wouldn’t even excite the daytime soap opera crowd.
The movie does have it’s charm. The opening suicide is very brutal and bloody. It also has that undeniable 70’s horror vibe that I’m a sucker for. At a run time of just over an hour, I never got too bored. Had they thrown in a couple of breast (ideally attached to a hot chick) this could have been a bad movie classic. Instead, it’s a merely a decent time waster. Remember aspiring filmmakers, nudity makes things better!
My God in heaven this movie kicked ass. Rambo may have been the most gory and violent film I’ve seen all year. They should have made Grindhouse a triple feature and had Rambo play with Death Proof and Planet Terror ’cause this is pure exploitation. I’m not sure how this only got an ”R” rating. I assume Stallone flew a chopper in to the offices of the MPAA, stuck a bazooka out the window and said “Live for nothing, die for everything” and they simply rubber stamped it.
You want an excuse for all the carnage i.e. plot? A group of well meaning missionaries travel to Burma to deliver aide to poverty stricken villagers. Sadistic soldiers kidnap said missionaries. Rambo decides he’s going to save them. Thats all you need to know about the plot, so don’t ask again.
The thing that really makes this movie work is they set up the Burmese soldiers as villains you really hate. You’ve seen scum like these on the news. They rape, torture, and mutilate innocent people. They kidnap young boys and force them them to be child soldiers. All the atrocities are shown in graphic detail, with actual news footage thrown in for good measure. This makes the pay off of Rambo tearing off heads with bullets and throats w/ bare hands all worth it. Seriously, this has better money shots than most Porn.
The DVD comes out Tuesday, but apparently Stallone plans on releasing a director’s cut later on. I’m conflicted as to if I should buy the DVD now or wait for a better release. I just can’t see what more violence they can cram in there. Either way, I definitely recommend this film. Rambo takes all the drama and grittiness of First Blood, adds in the over the top violence of First Blood Part II, and then throws in the blood and guts from all the Romero zombie movies. This is an action film that delivers all the hard “R” awesomeness!
I’ve already talked about the movies I’m most erect for this summer http://pacinofan.wordpress.com/2008/05/19/summer-movie-madness-intergalatic-spectacular-orgy-fest-aka-movies-i-want-to-see/. Here’s a list of movies I should be excited about, but for one reason or another I’m just not feeling it yet.
The Incredible Hulk
Maybe its the bad taste Ang Lee’s Hulk left in my mouth (similar to diseased monkey semen ), but there’s just something that feels off about this reboot of the Hulk franchise. I’ve hated the trailers so far and and what’s with the design of The Abomination? He looks like Swamp Thing on HGH. The actual CGI Hulk still doesn’t look right either. Maybe it needs to be a combination of practical and computer effects. Can you imagine an animatronic Hulk? I’m still hoping for the best because nothing would make me happier than a kick ass hulk movie.
Clone Wars
I’m a huge Star Wars Fan, but is there anything else about the Clone Wars that needs to be told? We see them start at the end of Episode II and end at the beginning of Episode III. The awesome Genndy Tartakovsky animated series fills in everything in between. What else is there? The fact that Tartakovsky was not involved the film version of clone Wars is also troubling. Why not do an animated movie that takes place after Episode III? I’d love to see a young Darth Vader searching the Galaxy for more Jedi to slaughter. Or even better, how about an animated trilogy for Episode VII-VIIII! All you’d need is the original cast to voice their characters. Just the thought of that makes me feel like a Wookie in heat!
The Happening
First off, I’m a fan of M. Night Shymalan. I loved The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and Signs. There’s no denying, however, his last two films have been artistic and commercial disappointments. I didn’t hate the Village like a lot of other people did, but it was definitely a step back. It also had twist ending that you pretty much had figured out by the first trailer. Lady in the WaterI still haven’t been able to watch all the way through, and I’ve tried twice already. I’ll still give Symamalan the benefit of the doubt since he’s excited me more times then he’s disappointed, which is a better record than my first wife. The buzz indicates The Happening is a return to form for Shymalan. The trailers haven’t blown me away, and Mark Wahlberg seems to be channeling Barbara Eden in I Dream Of Genie. Still, an “R” rated Horror/Thriller directed by Shymalan who appears to be back on his game has me feeling pretty optimistic.
Hancock
I knew nothing about this until I saw the trailers a few months ago. How the heck a superhero movie starring Will Smith snuck up on me I have no idea. It’s also got the always awesome Jason Batemen, which doesn’t hurt. Seeing Smith play a drunken superhero that’s managed to turn most of the world against him has me intrigued.
Okay, its 2:20 AM and I have to be at work in about 6 hours, so I have to make this real quick.
This is great Indiana Jones movie. No, its not as good as Raiders of the Lost Ark . I’m not sure why this movie is being punished for that when Temple of Doom and Last Crusade were given a free pass in that regard. Listen, if your an Indiana Jones fan and loved all three movies, I just can’t see you not enjoying this one. Yes, Harrison Ford is older, but he still kicks ass, takes names, and cracks a mean whip!
I didn’t even mind Shia LaBeouf’s character of Mutt Williams, and I was pretty sure he was gonna annoy the crap out of me. Yes, he dresses like Al Pacino in Cruising, but the he kind of grows on you. Plus he has a sword fight, and sword fights always make you a little cooler (see Hamill, Mark).
The movie does follow the Indiana Jones formula pretty closely. We have some convoluted ancient legends, exotic locales, and of course lots of cool action sequences. As is tradition, we also have a critter attack. In Raiders it was snakes. Temple of Doom had insects, and Last Crusade was infested by Rats. I won’t tell you what creepy crawlies show up this time, but I’m sure you’ll find it plenty icky (even if it is a little too CGI).
Don’t listen to the negative buzz. I’m pretty sure the Geeks that hate this one decided they weren’t gonna like it long before actually seeing it. As far as the Count is concerned, Indiana Jones can still deliver the good stuff… and I’d still do Karen Allen if she asked me.
I’m forcing my girlfriend (swear to god I have one) to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull with me. She’s an Indiana Jones virgin so I’ve been educating her all week. Monday we watched Raiders and Tuesday it was Temple of Doom. Tonight were going to watch Last Crusade and then its off to the theatre to see a midnight screening of Crystal Skull. If I can arrange it, I’d also like her to spend one night alone with Harrison Ford, but I’m not sure if I can swing that.
So, as I count down the hours until I see the new flick (6 hrs to go as of this writing) Here are a few thoughts on the initial Indiana Jones trilogy:
Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
Definitely the best film in the series. A lot of reviewers have been using the phrase “lightning in a bottle” when describing it. I can’t really disagree with that. What began as a homage to the classic adventures serials of the 30’s and 40’s became one the best American movies of all time. You have the imagination of George Lucas, the direction of Spielberg (and Spielberg’s ability to get rid of George’s bad ideas), and Ford’s iconic portrayal of Indy. This movie was a blockbuster without even trying.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
The second installment in the trilogy has a totally different tone then Raiders. In Raiders, Indiana Jones is an archaeologist out to preserve history. In Temple of Doom, he’s portrayed more as treasure hunter out for “fortune and glory.” The violence is also amped up. We have a heart a ripped out, blood splattered rock crushers, and more kids in peril than a Michael Jackson pajama party. This was the movie that caused the MPPA to create the PG-13 rating. Lucas has stated the dark tone of this sequel may have been a result of a messy divorce he was going through at the time. I’m not knocking Temple, as I loved it upon my initial viewing. It was actually one of the first movies I saw in theatres with out my parents. It’s kind of Raiders on steroids.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
My favorite of the trilogy. It’s funny, but I think its my favorite because it’s much closer in tone to the original, yet I enjoy it more than Raiders. I don’t think its a better film mind you, I just happened to enjoy it more. I love Sean Connery as Indy’s father and the opening flashback sequence that’s shows us a Young Indiana Jones (played wonderfully by the late River Phoenix) is one my favorites. Perhaps this should have been the final film as we have returning characters from Raiders (Marcus Brody and Sallah) that act as a bridge to the original. It also ends w/ our heroes riding off in to the sunset on horse back.
No surprise, but the DVD I’m most excited about today is George Romero’s Diary of the Dead. There’s also a new Special Edition of the original Night of the Living Dead, but I have the Elite Millennium Edition so I doubt I’ll be upgrading.
As always, the sexy folks at Dread Central have a much more comprehensive list of the week’s horror DVD’s right here:
http://www.dreadcentral.com/story/dvd-releases-the-dead-return
For some reason, Canada still celebrates a few British holidays, left over from when we were part of the commonwealth. This isn’t a bad thing since I’d celebrate the birth of Benny Hill if it meant a day off work. This past Monday was Victoria Day, which has something to do w/ Queen Victoria. I think it commemorates her first threesome. Anyway, I took advantage of the long weekend to go through some recently purchased DVD’s. Here are some quickie reviews of what I watched
May
I’d seen May several years ago but just couldn’t get in to it. I think the fact that it was hailed as the next great horror classic at the time set my expectations out of whack. I definitely enjoyed it a lot more with a couple of years worth of perspective. May is essentially a twisted fairy tale about a lonely girl who sets out to make a new friend. Unfortunately, she literally makes a new friend, which requires a few body parts. The movie is filled w/ quirky characters (occasionally a little too quirky, such as the dude w/ the Mohawk and sensitive nipples) and it’s a bit of a stretch that sweet little May eventually resorts to the extreme measures she does. Still, this is very original film with great performances, especially Angela Bettis as the title character. Most importantly, May teaches us that blind kids + broken glass = hilarity.
Raw Meat
A movie about a cannibal living in the sewers, being pursued by Dr Loomis? You had me at Cannibal! Not as gory as the title would have you believe, Raw Meat is still an effective horror film that has at least one jump out of your seat scare. At times the movie seems to aspire to be more than just about cannibals. A subplot about political cover ups is needlessly shoe horned in. This goes nowhere and really only serves as an excuse to have Christopher Lee cameo as an M-I5 agent. I guess in this case the ends do justify the means since Lee manages too kick ass in any film he’s in.
Slime City
Undeniably low budget 80’s horror (not a bad thing mind you), Slime City teaches us that if your offered pudding that looks like green slime from You can’t Do that on Television, your best bet is to politely decline. Cults, demon possession, and ectoplasm combine to make for a pretty enjoyable 90 minutes (under 90 minutes actually, also a plus). The gore effects are a lot “fun” (i.e. done on the cheap but still plenty gooey). If you enjoy movies like Basket Case, you’ll probably find some fun w/ this.
Flight of the Living Dead
I can pretty much tolerate and zombie movie. Flight of the Living Dead is slightly above “tolerable” but by no means a classic. There’s some decent gore but nothing that’s gonna make you forget Tom Savini. A little nudity would have helped as well. Hey, if your setting out to make a guilty pleasure, throw in some stuff to really make you feel guilty. Still, this was a movie that benefited from low expectations.
