New DVD Tuesday and other thoughts…

It’s DVD Tuesday, but nothing really excites me this week. Check out Dread Central for a pretty comprehensive listing of today’s horror related releases:

 

http://www.dreadcentral.com/node/26883

 

Harry over at Aint It Cool News also has his DVD picks:

 

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/36562

 

Since I’m not really recommending any titles this week, here’s a list of DVDs I would recommend, if only they were actually being released: 

 

Night of the Creeps

This is #1on a lot of horror fan’s wish list. There are whispers that a DVD is in the works, but nothing close to official as of yet. I get the feeling that when it finally does come out, a lot of people will wonder what all the fuss was about. Anticipation will do that to you.    

 

Rituals

I’d love to get a  really good region 1 DVD of this Canadian Survivalist horror shocker. 

 

Pieces

This movie boast some of the best taglines in horror movie history –

 

You don’t have to go to Texas for chainsaw massacre

Pieces… it’s exactly what you think it is

 

The home video rights are currently trapped in Public Domain purgatory. There are versions out there, but none are legit or qood quality. Grindhouse Releasing is supposed to be working on a special edition, but I haven’t heard anything about it in awhile.  

 

Star Wars: Ultimate Saga Collection 

I’d be willing to double dip on the Star Wars Trilogy (both of them) if it was a really balls to the wall release. I’m talking all six films and all the cartoons (Clone Wars, Droids, Ewoks etc…), and even the infamous Christmas Special. In a perfect world it would be packaged in a remote control R2-D2. That might be a good way for Star Wars to debut on Blu-ray.

 

Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair

The long anticipated Special Editions of Kill Bill Volumes I & II seem to be a DVD urban legend at this point. The Weinsteins just don’t seem to “get” DVD (see below for more proof).

 

Grindhouse

All I want is both films (Planet Terror & Death Proof) and all the trailers, including Hobo w/ a Gun. Is that really to much to ask? Death Proof and Planet Terror were created as a homage to the Grindhouse cinema experience, intended by the filmmakers to be viewed as a double feature, faux trailers and all. It was not meant to be seen as two separate releases. Normally I’d assume we would be getting some sort of Grindhouse: Super Deluxe Cum Stained Theatre Floor Edition, but with the way the Weinsteins operate, I’m not so sure. The Extended cuts out on DVD now are okay, but still not what the fans want.

 

Shivers

David Cronenberg’s first feature film was released on DVD a few years ago, but has since gone OOP. I’m hoping Criterion can get the rights as they’ve definitely shown the most love for Cronenberg on DVD. Want proof? Check out The Criterion editions of Videodrome and Naked Lunch.

 

Cannibal Girls

I love cannibals, girls, Canuxploitaion, and 70’s Eugene Levy Afro. Pretty much a perfect film for me. 

 

Howard The Duck

Yeah, make fun of me if you want. As the one person who didn’t hate this movie, I demand an 8 disc Deluxe edition Directors cut DVD set w/ limted edtion Marvel Legends Howard the Duck action figure in collectible egg packaging. Or a bare bones release for under $5. Either way.  

 

 

Get “Stuck” with the Count

Check out the cool new poster for Stuart Gordon’s Stuck over at Bloody Disgusting:

http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/12056

This movie is near and dear to my heart as it was filmed in my home town. I was even able to meet Stuart Gordon and got him to sign my Re-Animator DVD.

 

 

Pseudo Review: 88 Minutes

Let’s get this out of the way right now: 88 Minutes is a bad movie. The story is preposterous and the script is terrible. It includes some of the worst lines of dialogue I’ve ever heard. Check out this little chestnut:

Like some of you here, I have spent those sleepless nights trying desperately to squelch down that vile-ish instinct for revenge. And I have wondered if this pain will ever abate. And I’ve learned that time does not heal the wound, it will though, in its most merciful way, blunt the edge ever so slightly.  -Dr Gramm                                                                                

This movie also has Al Pacino saying semen more times than I’m comfortable with.

Don’t you see someone planted that semen, they took my semen, semen, semen, semen, semensemensemensemensemen.    

Pacino plays hot shot forensic psychiatrist/University Professor/FBI expert witness/young lady loving Dr Jack Gramm. Gramm’s testimony was vital in convicting serial killer Jon Foster (Neil McDonough) and having him sentencedto death. Nine years later, Foster is set to be executed, still professingng his innocence and claiming Dr Gramm’s testimony was flawed. Coincidentally, new murders are commited using Foster’s alleged M.O., throwing doubt in to his guilt. Dr Gramm also receives a threatening phone call saying he has 88 minutes to live. And while all this is going on, someone plants evidence that points to Gramm as the real killer. Do you think possibily, just maybe, this could all be related? Apparently the FBI, parole board, and police don’t. 

What follows is more ludicrous dialogue and a bunch of Red Herrings thrown in do distract the audience from how bad the movie is.  Hey, who’s that mysterious stranger on the motorcycle that seems to be following Dr Gramm? Spoiler Alert: No one important!

As the convoluted plot unfolds, we are witness to a revenge plan so elaborate I began to suspect Jigsaw from SAW  must have been involved.  

You probably assume I hated the movie. Here’s the weird thing, I didn’t. I can’t say I liked it, but it was never boring. I still love to watch Pacino and their are enough unintentionally funny moments that I was almost, dare I say it, entertained. 

Do I recommend it? Well, I can’t really do that in good conscience. I can say if your a fan of  Pacino and desperate to see a flick, you might find some perverse pleasure watching this (similar to watching midget porn). I also have a feeling that 88 Minutes may gain cult status, similar to one of the all time great bad movies, Show Girls. Now that, my friends, is high praise indeed.     

    

Cloverfield, Brittish Horror Invasion, Little Orphan Ugly: New DVD Tuesday

Another Tuesday, another depletion to my (not so) disposable income. Here are some of the DVD’s that have peaked my interest.

Cloverfield

Blair Witch meets Godzilla in a Post 9/11 world. Cloverfield isn’t perfect. The leads are all way to good looking and don’t seem “authentic” enough, which hurts the realism the movie shoots for. But when Cloverfield starts clicking, it’s down right terrifying. I picked up the Steelbook edition today and will hopefully have a pseudo review up later on in the week.

The Orphanage

Produced by one of my favorite directors, Guillermo del Toro. This tale of a Haunted Orphanage apparently makes a great triple bill with del Toro’s Pan’s Labyrinth and Devil’s Backbone. This never came to a theatre any where near me, so I’ll be checking it out for the first time on DVD.

British Horror Quadruple Feature (Frightmare/House Of Whipcord/The Flesh & Blood Show/ Die Screaming Marianne)

Media Blaster seems to get a bad rap by horror fans, but they come out w/ some of the best bang for your buck triple and quadruple features sets around. I was able to get The Evil Animals Three pack for the same price as one of the movies individually. I’m curious about all 4 movies in this set.

For more Horror DVD releases, check out Bloody Disgusting

http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/news/12004

Geekend Review

Another weekend has ended and its Monday already. At least I’ve got the memories of all the geeky things I did. Here’s the rundown:

I was glued to my computer for much of Friday and Saturday getting news and updates from the New York City Comic Con (in between free porn). Thousands of geeks and those peddling to geeks descended upon on the big apple for the three day event. It’s the one time of year when New York isn’t the coolest city in the world because of the influx of geekness.

What began life as a mere comic book convention has morphed in to a promotional juggernaut where everything from from toys to blockbuster movies are whored out. The stars and filmmakers of some of the summer’s most anticipated films were on hand to plug away. Of course, the major comic book companies were on hand to discuss their major story lines and events. To be honest, I was most excited to see the new DC Classic Action figures coming out. I needs me a Cyborg!

http://www.dcuc.info/heroes/cyborg-prototype/

Here are the sites I checked out for comic news from the con:

http://www.comicbookresources.com/

http://newsarama.com/

The demi-gods over at Aint it Cool News had a pretty good recap as well:

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/36480

For my toy fix, I checked out the good folks at Action Figure Insider:

http://www.actionfigureinsider.com/main/

Arrow in head has a recap of some of the movie news that came out of the con:

http://www.joblo.com/arrow/ 

Saturday night I watched some hockey and then checked out UFC 83. I think at this point UFC counts as a geek event. The most memorable thing about it was the incredible crowd. Over 21,000 rapid fans filled the Bell Centre in Montreal. They all got to go home happy too, as home town hero George St Pierre regained the Welter Weight Championship in the main event. I’m not a huge MMA fan, but I’m definitely starting to get in to. I do wish George St Pierre would wear longer shorts:

http://www.ufc.com/index.cfm?fa=MultiMedia.GalleryImgDetail&gid=371&aid=13672&return=fa%3DMultiMedia%2EGalleryImgList%26gid%3D371

On Sunday I was planning to see 88 Minutes but the horrid reviews kinda scared me off. Instead I checked out Forgetting Sara Marshal. I found the trailers kind of sucktacular but the movie itself was pretty funny. It’s definitely in the vein of Knocked Up and 40 year Old Virginwhere you have equal parts vulgarity and sweetness (I think I just invented a new Axe body spray). It’s definitely not as good as those two films, and the sweetness aspect of it seemed a little less genuine. Still, it had enough laugh out loud moments for me to recommend it. 

Sunday night I crawled in to bed and got under my Star Wars Sheets to dream of Comic Conventions and MMA fighters in short shorts. The count down to Friday begins again.

The Count Goes to the Movies

Not much in the way of of horror coming to theatres this weekend. I plan on checking out Al Pacino and his awsome hair in the Thriller 88 Minutes. Pacino stars as Dr Jack Gramm, a College Professor that moonlights as a Forensic Psychiatrist for the FBI (you’d think the FBI could afford a full time guy). The good doctor rreceives threatening phone call saying he only has, wait for it, 88 minutes to live. The trailers have looked… interesting I guess, but most of the reviews have not been very flattering. Still, it’s Pacino, and you can probably tell from the URL of this blog that I’m a big Pacino fan. I know Al’s recent movies have not exactly been in the league of The Godfather (or even the The Godfather III) but at least he’s been a little more selective then De Niro recently.

Pseudo Review – Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II

Continuing my way through my Prom Night Box set (available only in Canada I suspect) here’s a pseudo review of the second instalment.

Like the original, Prom Night IIbegins w/ a flash back. Mary Lou Maloney is the bad girl soon to be Prom Queen of Hamilton High (circa 1957). How bad is Mary Lou? On her way to the Prom,  she stops in at confession… just to tell the priest she’s not sorry for any of her sins! It should be no surprise that she ditches her geeky Prom Date, Billy (probably called “square” back then) for the apparently much cooler Buddy. Billy decides to get back at Mary Lou by ruining her coronation as Prom Queen w/ a well timed Stink Bomb. As always seems to be the case in a movie like this, the harmless prank goes wrong and Mary Lou dies in a fiery blaze of gory. I’m not sure if fire extinguishers were invented in 1957 since the horrified onlookers simply stand around and scream or pound their fist dramatically.

Fast forward 30 years. Billy is all grown up and now the Principal of Hamilton High school. I really should mention here that the adult Billy is played by Canadian B-Movie icon Michael “I can make your head explode” Ironside. Ironside is like a Canadian Bruce Campbell, but usually plays the villain instead of the hero. Leslie Nielsen was cool and all, but I consider Ironside to be an upgrade in the Principal department.

All seems well at Hamilton High as the students prepare themselves for Prom Night. Unfortunately, the vengeful spirit of Mary Lou is released… from an old trunk in the school basement. I may have missed something, but I’m not sure if its ever explained why her spirit got stuck in a trunk. Anyway, Mary Lou sets about getting her revenge using Freddy Krueger style powers. Eventually she possesses the body of goody-two-shoes student Vicki (Wendy Lyon). As Mary Lou wrecks havoc on the student population, Principal Billy tries to make amends for past sins by saving Vicki’s soul and the lives of the entire school.

I gotta tell you, I had a lot more fun watching this movie than I did at my actual Prom. It’s definitely campy at times and occasionally cheesy, but there is an undeniable charm to this flick. The filmmakers take a tongue and cheek approach to certain horror movie cliches (several years before Scream mind you) but it never becomes an out right parody. There are even some pretty dark moments such as an incestuous kiss the possessed Vicki shares w/ her father (Hey dad, your daughter’s possessed, what’s your excuse). We’re also treated to some full frontal nudity and some hints of lesbianism. What more could you ask for?   

The filmmakers are obviously horror fans (there are teachers named Romero, Craven and Carpenter at the school) and they “borrow” heavily from other movies like The Exorcist and Carrie. The biggest influence is obviously A Nightmare On Elm Street, especially the final “twist” at the end.     

I definitely recomend Prom Night II. If you want to watch Mary Lou’s bloody rampage in the comfort of your own home (along with Wendy Lyon’s full frontal nudity) you can usually find the original Canadian DVD for prettyy cheap, but it’s full screen. MGM recently released a wide screen version w/ a better transfer, but sadly no extras. The DVD contained in the box set appears to be the original release, which sucks since I’m going to have to shell out another $10 for the  wide screen version.

You’d think the Schoolboard would consider cancelling all future proms at Hamilton High since unspeakable tragedies always seem to happen at them. That doesn’t seem to be the case, however, as I have 2 more sequels to go in the set. 

              

Best Jason Action Figure

Can you imaginee we live in a time when you can purchase an action figure of pretty much any modern day horror icon? I can still remember the days when the only thing close to a Jason Voorhees toy was the Screamin’ model kit advertised in Fangoria.

http://www.fridaythe13thfilms.com/media/figures/jasonkit.html

Nowadays, there seems to be a new Jason figure every week. But what if you only have enough cash for one, and you want the best? Well, in my humble opinion, the absolute best Jason action figure (in 6-7 inch scale) is:

Neca Cult Classic Series I New Blood Jason!

http://www.necaonline.com/product/detail/42003

It may not be the best of the Friday the 13th movies (that would be part IV) but undoubtedly Jason looked his most bad ass in part VII. Miss Voorhees baby boy is full on zombie mode at this point, with rotted flesh and bone (including his exposed spinal cord) showing through his ripped clothes. His trade mark hockey mask has that cool Phantom Of The Opera thing going on, with part of it broken away so you can catch a glimpse of Jason’s rotted jaw. Add in the fact that this was Kane Hodder’s debut as the definitive Jason actor, and you’ve got the Ultimate Camp Crystal Lake killing machine!  

Neca Toys did an unbelievable job in putting this incarnation in to plastic. The sculpt is pretty much dead on, especially the head. Paint is good and gritty looking. The mask is removable and fits nicely on Jason’s ugly mug. I’ve seen other Jason figures where the mask just didn’t look right. It’s kind of like DarthVader’s helmet; It’s a simple design, but if you don’t get it quite right, it looks “off” somehow.  Jason comes with an array of killing instruments, which of course includes a machete.

The articulation is pretty much non-existent, but thats the norm with horror action figures. Jason has articulation at the neck, arms and waist. Not a lot of movement, but he’s in a pretty menacing position right out of the package.

Originally this figure was in an 18 inch scale. 

 http://www.fridaythe13thfilms.com/media/figures/18jason.html

It was shrunken down for the Cult Classics Series, but didn’t seem to loose any of the detail. 

Over all, a great figure and it sits proudly on my desk at work.

Honorable mention:

Friday the 13th Anniversary boxed set (Neca)

http://www.necaonline.com/product/detail/39707

Mezco Cinema Of Fear Series I Jason

 http://www.mezcotoyz.com/products.asp?pline=cof-001

More Love for Mezco Cinema Of Fear Action Figures

My favorite action figure review website, mwctoys, has a review of the COF series II Freddy. Take a look:

 http://www.mwctoys.com/REVIEW_041608a.htm

They also have a review of the New York Comic Con Mezco “stylized” Jason exclusive:

 http://www.mwctoys.com/REVIEW_041408a.htm

I currently have series I & II on my desk at work. I have a feeling that’s going to count against me when I have my yearly performance evaluation.

DVD Release Day (4/15/08)

For movie lovers and DVD collectors, each and every Tuesday is like Christmas because it’s DVD Release Day! Of course, if Christmas happens to fall on a Tuesday, DVD Release Day will probably be delayed. Now thats irony.

Here are a few of the releases that are of interest to me this week: 

ALIENS Vs Predator: Requiem

That title is really lame. Do the filmmakers even know what “requiem” means or did they just think it sounded cool? Anyway, this wasn’t the most well received genre film in history, but I hear its better than the first one (which I didn’t hate as much as most people). The creature suits and over-all effects are supposed to be an improvement as well. Hey, I own every other ALIEN and Predator movie, why not this one too? At least when Fox decides to ruin their franchises, they do two at once so it’s less painful.

Juno

Not a horror movie at all, but I’m including it on this list because it’s one of my fave films of the year and one of the main characters is a fan of Herschell Gordon Lewis. If you haven’t seen it yet, you may be let down only because of the hype and buzz that surrounded it. It’s really just a sweet little comedy about a pregnant teenager and her 9 month adventure. I know it’s now hip to say the script is too, well, hip (how’s that for hypocrisy) but I still think it’s an excellent screenplay and Ellen Page is superb in the title role. Plus, my three year old daughter loves the soundtrack. It gives me something to play in the car other than The Doodlebops. You might also want to check out Ellen Page in Hard Candy. It’s sort of how Juno would have been if Juno had kidnapped Bleeker and threatened to castrate him.

Backwoods

I haven’t seen this one, but I’ve wanted to for awhile. Gary Oldman vs. Crazy Back Wood Hillbillies? I’m so there! To be honest, I’m not sure if that plot description is 100% accurate, but it definitely stars Oldman. The dude played Sid Vicious, Dracula and Commissioner Gordon! That almost sounds like a Chuck Norris fact.

Inside

I’m just hearing about this one now. Crazy Lady wants to take away woman’s baby. That’s pretty scary. You know what makes it even more scary? The baby is still in the mother womb. This is supposed to be one disturbing flick. Moriarty over at Ain’t it Cool News had had some hight priase for it as well. He gets all art school and calls it by the original French title A L’Interieur. 

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/36395  

Check out Dread Central for a complete listing of this week’s horror DVD’s:

http://www.dreadcentral.com/node/26746