Moving Day Massacre

Sorry for the lack of updates this week. I’ve been in the process of moving for the last several days and let me state: moving sucks beyond all comprehension. Seriously, I hate it, hate it with a blinding passion so powerful it frightens Satan himself. With that said, my Hellish  move is almost complete.

For the rest of the week I’m going to try and sort out my massive DVD collection. I’ve had my DVD’s in storage for the past several months, and now that I have them all unpacked, I realize that I have no space for them. I actually had to have a huge shelf custom made for my movies a few years back, but as my collection has grown like John Holmes manhood, the shelf has not. I’m trying to purge some of them (after years of binging) by selling off any non-essential flicks. I’ll use the $$$ to help with moving expenses, X-mas shopping … and a Blu-Ray player. Sensible, I am not.

Anyway, I’ll have some thoughts on a few new DVD’s (Incredible Hulk, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and Iron Man) in the next few days.

I also wanted to pass along some sad news in regards to the health of Horror Mega Fan and the Godfather of fandom, Forrest J. Ackerman:

 http://www.aintitcool.com/node/38960

If you haven’t done so already, check out the awesome career retrospective on “Uncle Forry” in this years Halloween issue of Rue Morgue.

Stay Freaky…

Hellboy as Elvis?

http://www.aintitcool.com/node/38925

I like Ron Perlman in the Hellboy movies, but to be honest I’ve never been terribly enamored with him in anything else (my having a penis precluded me from ever watching Beauty and the Beast). 

Bubba Ho-Tep is one of my all time faves, and I have faith in Coscarelli to make a kick ass sequel. No matter what, Hollywood A-Lister Paul Giamatti seems 186% behind the project, so that’s cool. Hopefully this won’t turn out the way House of Re-Animator did when it seemed for sure William H. Macy was was going to play the President, only for everything to fall through.    

In  a perfect world, Bruce Campbell would’ve just agreed to do the sequel and it would have already been out by now and made a zillion dollars and we’d be talking about the Elvis battling Werewolves in a third “Bubba” flick.

My Favorite 100 (plus) Horror Movies of All Time

Okay, a little explaining about these lists. These represent my personal favorite horror movies. That doesn’t necessarily mean they are the best (although some I’d certainly argue are, especially the top 10) but the ones that I get the most enjoyment watching. I know Friday the 13th Part IV is not a better movie than Halloween; I just have a better time watching it. Same thing with Frankenstein meets the Wolf man. I know that FMTWM is not the best of the Universal Horror Classics, but it’s the one I enjoy the most. There are a lot of great movies not on this list for one reason or another, usually it has to do with when I saw them, or maybe I just totally forgot about them and I’ll kick myself (hard and in the nuts) when I realize it.

Another thing I want to mention; I didn’t want this list to have too many sequels, so I limited it to only 3 films from a series. I just figure that if you know I liked Friday the 13 Part IV, then I probably liked Part VI as well.

As you can see, my top 100 is actually broken up in to 2 list; I have a top 80 all time faves, and a top 20 list of more recent flicks (late 90’s-ish and beyond). I made the second list ‘cause I didn’t know where to put the more recent flicks on the all time list just yet. You’ll have to wait until I’ve seen my last horror movie and I’m on my death bed before you get the definitive list. And really, From 30-100 could easily change places.

Please feel free to make comments and post your own (no doubt inferior) list!

One last thing; the top three are basically tied and for my all time favorite. On any given day I could call any of the top three my all time fave.

One more thing: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!

My Top 80 All time Favorite Horror Movies:

1. Evil Dead
2. Dawn of the Dead (1978)
3. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
4. The Wicker Man (1973)
5. The Thing
6. Black Christmas (1974)
7. Psycho
8. The Fly (1986)
9. Rosemary’s Baby
10. Frankenstein meets the Wolf Man
11. Friday the 13 Part IV: The Final Chapter
12. Army of Darkness
13. Creepshow
14. Zombie
15. Near Dark
16. Night of the Living Dead (1968)
17. The Omen (1976)
18. Evil Dead II
19. The Wolf Man (1941)
20. The Abominable Dr Phibes
21. A Nightmare on Elm Street III: The Dream Warriors
22. The Lost Boys
23. Halloween (1978)
24. The Birds
25. The Exorcist
26. JAWS
27. The Hills have Eyes (1977)
28. Dracula (1931)
29. Phantasm II
30. Horror of Dracula
31. The Hitcher
32. The Fog (1980)
33. ALIEN
34. Frankenstein (1931)
35. The Howling
36. The Creature from the Black Lagoon
37. The Omega Man
38. An American Werewolf in London
39. House
40. Day of the Dead (1985)
41. The Fly (1958)
42. Halloween IV: the reurn of Michael Myers
43. Friday the 13th
44. A Nightmare on Elm Street
45. I spit on your Grave
46. Bride of Frankenstein
47. Silver Bullit
48. Salem’s Lot
49. Poltergeist
50. Cannibal Ferox
51. Death Dream
52. My Bloody Valentine
53. Deranged
54. Tales from the Crypt
55. Rabid
56. The Dead Zone
57. Carrie
58. Terror of Frankenstein
59. Pet Semetary
60. House of Wax (1953)
61. Fright Night
62. Prison (Seldom seen 80’s haunted prison flick, sadly not available on DVD)
63. Phantasm
64. Nosferatu (1922)
65. Misery
66. Child’s Play
67. Texas chainsaw Massacre Part II
68. The Crazies
69. Night of the Living Dead (1990)
70. American Psycho
71. Return of the Living Dead
72. Plague of the Zombies
73. Last House on the Left
74. Pumpkinhead
75. Phantom of the Opera (1925)
76. Dolls
77. Re-Animator
78. Satanic Rites of Dracula
79. Hellraiser
80. The Blob (1988)

My Top 20 soon to be added to my all time Favorite Horror Movies

1. Shaun of the Dead
2. Ginger Snaps
3. Session 9
4. Sixth Sense
5. Pan’s Labrynth
6. SE7EN
7. Brotherhood of the Wolf
8. House of 1000 Corpses
9. Grindhouse
10. Bubba Ho-Tep
11. Scream
12. Dog Soldiers
13. From Dusk till Dawn
14. 28 days later
15. Devil’s Rejects
16. High Tension
17. Bubba Ho Tep
18. The Descent
19. The Devil’s Backbone
20. The Blair Witch Project

*Special bonus list enrties: The Ruins, Mulberry Street, and The Strangers. Probably my three fave horror films of the last year or so.

**Extra Special Bonus list: Movies (in no particular order) that either almost made the cut or that I’d forgotten about until just now: Christine, Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978), Cannibal Apocalypse, The Blob (1988), Cabin Fever, Horror rises from the Tomb, Vault of Terror, House that dripped Blood, House on Haunted Hill, Hostel, SAW, Creepshow II, Ringu, The Frighteners, Dawn of the Dead (2004), Slither, Pieces, Spider Baby and about 100 other flicks that I’ll remember later and hate myself for not including on one of the above lists.

Pseudo DVD Review: THE STRANGERS: UNRATED

I already reviewed The Strangers upon its initial theatrical release. You can read that bit of Pulitzer Prize worthy journalism here:

http://pacinofan.wordpress.com/2008/06/02/pseudo-review-the-strangers/

Suffice to say, I dug the movie. I know it falters a bit towards the end, but overall the film works for me. I think your enjoyment of it depends on how much you care about the victims.

The DVD, on the other hand, doesn’t work for me at all. The packaging states that it includes the theatrical and unrated versions. The only real difference between the two is a bit of extra “struggling” towards the end of the unrated version that, to be honest, weakens the very last scene. Anyone hoping for a hardcore sex scene with Liv Tyler (or Scott Speedman, whatever floats your boat) will be surely disappointed. The only special features on the disc are some deleted scenes and a making of doc that runs just over nine minutes and features no earth shattering revelations on the film. The two deleted scenes are pretty meaningless as they simply reinforce that Scott Speedman really wanted to marry Liv Tyler, but she doesn’t want to marry him. I was hoping the bonus content would give more insight on the Strangers themselves, or on the so called “true story” the movie is supposedly based. Instead we learn Live Tyler hurt her hand pounding on a window, and Scott Speedman’s character took a drink before proposing to Liv Tyler.  

The Strangers is a pretty disappointing DVD package. Had I known the bonus content was so weak, I would’ve have waited for it to hit the previously viewed bin at blockbuster. Even a director’s commentary would have made me happy, but we don’t even get that. Maybe there saving that for a double dip, but if they are I won’t be getting it. I’m not gonna spend money on a better version of a DVD that should have been right the first time.

Basically what I’m saying is, the movie is very recommended but the DVD, not so much.

Not Expecting This…

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B001EN46MK/thedigitalbit-20

Yeah, looks like I’m gonna need a Blu-Ray player… STAT!

Fire Baaadddd… Birthdays GOOD!

Today would have been the 106th Birthday of The Bride of Frankenstein herself, Elsa Lanchester (technically the Bride of the Creature, but you get my drift).

Lanchester actually had two roles in the classic Frankenstein sequel. She was the titular Bride and played Frankenstein author Marry Shelley in the prologue.

Pseudo Review: BURNT OFFERINGS

The one thing you can definitely say about Burnt Offerings is that it’s got one hell of an inspired cast. Karen Black, Oliver Reed, Burgess Meredith, and Bette Davis in her “I’m old, I better do a lot of horror movies before I die” stage of her career all do some wicked scenery chewing.

This tale of a family renting a creepy summer house is filled with plenty of dread, but it doesn’t really get cooking until the last 20 minutes or so. Granted, that last 20 minutes is definitely creepy. The movie features the standard Horror movie “door you’re not supposed to open” gag, but does a terrific job building up to the inevitable unlocking. There’s definitely a 70’s “Made for TV” vibe to it (it was directed by TV horror guru Dan Curtis after all) but I think it may have had a theatrical release. Also keep in mind that in the 70’s, “made for TV” wasn’t such a bad thing. Hopefully the Sci-Fi Channel is listening.

The movie ends up being quite ambiguous and the audience isn’t spoon fed many conclusions. Suffice to say, this summer House has some evil mojo and it affects the family members to varying degrees. Oh yeah, it also features one of the creepiest dude’s I’ve ever laid my eyes on; The Chauffeur! He is one a freaky lookin’ mofo!

Burnt Offerings isn’t quite a classic, but the cool cast and scary final act made this 2 hours well wasted.

Pseudo Review: SAW V

There’s not much about the plot of the newest SAW film I can talk about without ruining a few surprises. Let’s just say that Police Detective Mark Hoffman secretly continues his duties as Jigsaw’s apprentice, while FBI Agent Strahm is hot on his trail. Oh yeah, there’s also a bunch of unlucky bastards locked up in a basement that have to play classic Jigsaw “games” (not half as fun as Reindeer games, FYI).

Kudos to the writers for being able to make different events in the SAW films seem connected, even if they were originally never intended to be. The series is constantly being retconned, but the writers always have a way of making it make sense (as long as you don’t think too hard about it). You don’t have to have seen the previous movies to enjoy SAW V, but it sure adds an extra layer of coolness to see how different events now interlock.

As usual, the film keeps you guessing and it’s always fun waiting for the dramatic SAW theme to play as the expected twist is revealed (although SAW V doesn’t really have all that shocking a climax compared to the other films). You‘ll also notice that the death traps are more brutal than usual, but lack the twisted cleverness we’ve come to expect from Jigsaw. Of course, this makes sense since it’s no longer Jigsaw creating them.  

One of the questions left unanswered from SAW IV was how the hell Hoffman ever got mixed up w/ Jigsaw. SAW V answers that question, and the explanation is more or less satisfactory. Of course, for every answer, SAW V poses a couple more questions. There are two fairly big loose ends left open at the end of the flick, and I’m assuming these will get explained in SAW VI. SAW V, more than any of the other sequels, really sets things up for the next installment. 

To be honest, I don’t know how much farther the series can go before it becomes self parody (some may argue it already has). Tobin Bell as Jigsaw is a huge part of what makes the series work, but you have to believe there are only so many more flashbacks left to show before they get silly. There’s also the danger that the more you explain about Jigsaw’s past, the more you hurt his mystique. Plus, I think that the whole franchise is guilty of killing off the more interesting characters. I’d much rather see Donnie Wahlberg’s Detective Matthews than the fairly bland Agent Strahm.

Speaking of characters I wasn’t too hot over, I was never terribly interested in the seemingly random (but not really random at all) group of strangers trapped together. I think this was due to the film never having time to explore them very much.   

The main gripe I have with SAW V is that Hoffman isn’t really playing “the game” fairly. Agent Strahm suspects Hoffman of being Jigsaw’s accomplice, so Hoffman wants to get rid of him. Killing someone to save your own skin seems very un-Jigsaw like to me.  

Bottom line, if you’re a fan of the series, you’ll probably like this one. It’s not the best of the bunch, but the filmmakers are still doing a good job keeping the intricate house of continuity cards together. At the very least, I’m still not bored of the series and I’ll be back next Halloween to check out SAW VI.

Cronenberg has NOVEL Idea

David Cronbenberg (who happens to be one of my fave directors of all time) has started work on a novel:

http://jam.canoe.ca/Books/2008/10/23/7183846-ap.html

Not Horror or Science Fiction eh? I’m pretty curious what it’s about. Regardless of genre, I can’t help but think the book will still be a pretty dark story. Even Cronenberg’s non-horror stuff is pretty intense and/or twisted (Naked Lunch, Eastern Promises, etc…).

THE OFFICE comes to Canada

Fellow Canadians, please polish your Hockey skates and put out the good Beer; The Office is coming for a visit:  

http://jam.canoe.ca/Television/TV_Shows/O/Office/2008/10/24/7189756-sun.html

Not since The Simpsons visited Toronto have I been this stoked about a TV show doing an episode in my Great Land. Granted, they won’t actually be filming in Canada, but the story will take place here. 

I’m assuming like most awesome shows, a bunch of the writers on The Office are Canucks, hence the idea of a business trip in Winnipeg (one of our many oddly named Cities). 

The episodes airs  November 13th 

Trivia: Winnie The Pooh was named after Winnipeg